Letter to Lego

A large fraction of my slightly above minimum wage salary goes to your corporation. There is nothing I would rather do in my free time than build a Lego monument with Fred. However, the prices are ridiculous. I do not have any intention of spending $100 on a Lego ferris wheel (anytime soon, anyway). Until I have $100 to throw around, I'll be thinking about the day when I can put together the ultimate Lego set.

The ferris wheel actually spins. I could not imagine the amount of skill and concentration it would take to come up with a functioning Lego set such as this. Crazy.

Letter to Hollywood

Tara and I decided to compose a top ten list of our own favorite movies. I guess it's not really a top ten list, because they're not ordered from absolute favorite to least. There are still ten, nonetheless. Even though I don't watch a significant amount of movies, I still managed to come up with my ten favorites, which are undoubtedly better than Tara's selections.


10. The Number 23


9. Edward Scissorhands

8. Forrest Gump

7. Waiting...

6. The Green Mile

5. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

4. Beetlejuice

3. American History X

2. The Breakfast Club

1. The Perfect Storm

These are about all of the movies that I could watch a million times and never grow weary of the plot.

Letter to my gps

So I was naive in thinking that my gps would help me navigate through the middle of nowhere. The sole purpose of purchasing gps for my car was so that I would NOT get lost when I decide to take a drive through the "country." After driving around aimlessly for a good two hours, my gps decided to cooperate and re-route. I'm glad I wasn't alone and had the professional navigation of Jorge. Still frustrating. That was my Wednesday night.

Letter to polar bears

Somedays I wish I could have the life of a polar bear. Hanging out all day in the snow with polar friends seems like a pretty nice lifestyle. They aren't exactly graceful or cute animals. They actually seem kind of akward and mellow. Everytime I see a Coke commercial I always wonder what it would be like to have the life of a polar bear. What it would feel like to sip a Coke and slide down a snow bank with penguins. Sadly, I will never experience the thrill.

Letter to Maine

A long time ago I came to the conclusion that I do not like or accept major change. Despite the desolation and negative atmosphere of Mifflin County, I've always been okay with the idea of being here forever. Afterall, I am a negative person. I don't particularly like to travel or experience new places. I've been to at least 40 of the 50 states, some more than once. One of the few places that has changed my perspective is Maine. I've been to Maine a number of times, and I believe that someday I may reside there.

I actually enjoy the cold weather and snow. I am most definitely not a beach person. The one exception is of course, in Maine. Old Orchard Beach isn't like most beaches that people around here experience. It doesn't have white sand or blue water. Or the opposite, green water and orange sand. There are no casinos or twenty mile stretches of condos and hotels. Old Orchard Beach is a quiet community. Tranquilty and easy living.

It's a beautiful place.

Letter to Starbucks,

Congrats on supporting gun rights! A lot of stores (and particularly coffeehouses for the sake of keeping tranquility) do not allow guns. You however have satisfied the peoples' ridiculous desire to carry around handguns. Ridiculous or not, I think it's great. If somebody feels the urge to walk into a Starbucks for a latte with a pistol strapped to their leg, so be it. If the person then chooses to use their gun by some freak chance, oh well. If somebody really wants to use their gun for some crime-related plan, they will bring a gun into the store regardless of the store's gun policy. Just throwing that out there.

Actual Story

p.s., your coffee is amazing. Send me some?

I read the news today, and this was the most exciting piece. Maybe the world needs more tragedy so I have something to give opinions about.

Letter to Sylvester Stallone

My monday accomplishment:

Sylvester Stallone, I assure you that you do not pose a threat to Tara or her world championship boxing career. I don't like your accent or your face.

I wish the whole world could know Tara and understand my creations.

And I also wish I wasn't sick.